Silly asthma questions

As asked by Physicians when I’m in the hospital and ranked in order of dislike.
( I’m sure my fellow lungers can relate)

#1) What triggered your asthma attack this time?
#2) Why does your asthma get so bad?
#3) Do you think anxiety makes your asthma worse?
#4) Do you know how to check your peak flows ?
#5) What can we do to keep you out of the hospital?
#6) Have you ever been intubated for your asthma?
#7) Why did you wait so long to come in for treatment?

And this is how I usually answer them.


#1) I don’t know.
#2) I have bad asthma.
#3) Suffocating to death tends to make me a little anxious .
#4) I know more about pulmonary functions then you can ever hope to know.
#5) How about taking care of me when I’m NOT sick.
#6) I hold the worlds record.
#7) Because I hate answering stupid questions like these.

Do you detect a little sarcasm?


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3 thoughts on “Silly asthma questions

  1. I LOVE your answers … however I think you should have told them the truth:

    What triggered your attack?
    … um … I was supposed to go to coffee with Lizzy and I was afraid of too much giggling over coffee!

    Love you!
    Lizzy

  2. I’d have thought the sheer sight of the hospital porters wheeling out the trailer loads of your medical notes each admission would be enough to have the doctors develop some anxiety driven asthma of their own.

    Why is it that medical bods like to try and and get us to answer questions that we just can’t answer in certain situations?
    Dentists seem to love asking your life history when they have their fingers down your throat.

    Luckily my psych report says that my asthma can cause me to become anxious, and not t’other way round (head case asthmatic-not a good one to be branded I fear-I’ve met a few!)

    I’ve had a fair bit of the ‘when were you last tubed’ ‘would like to be intubated’ ‘are you tiring yet’ type questions…..I think our notes here have some red code or other on them which means you are a possible tube case.

    I remember an ER in Palm Springs being 1) out and out very concerned…but then 2) hastily asking for my insurance!

    Hello-does anybody want to get tubed/be stuck there/suffer an all out asthma flare!

    I love your humour. It keeps you going and keeps the men with the strait jackets away!

    Hugs,

    Sus xx

  3. At least your sense of humor remains. Thanks for the link to my website at About.com. I would be very interested in what you find helpful or would like to see more of.
    Pat

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